Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I don't know what's going on..

I'm like.. going crazy..
Does anyone else do this? 
It's like a really weird state.. where I just go into complete over-thinking mode..
Even if things are going perfectly fine, 
and the slightest thing might go weird, or wrong,

This happened last night, hm.
And then I was thinking, about how much I over-think, and then started over-thinking about that!
And I was seriously like.. going crazy.
And even things that I know I shouldn't over-think about..
Like, sometimes I'll be praying,
and I'll think to myself "I'm not doing this right." or "I'm missing something." or "Am I using the wrong words?"
And then sometimes I just result to, "God, you know what I'm trying to say here. Just go along with it." 
And then I'm like.. idhjfiskdfgfkdx.
And then I'm like, I know you can't be bad at praying, or anything..
But it's still like.. very hard to explain.


And me and my friend Joanie were talking,
and we both do this:
When were like texting, or chatting, or iming someone,
and they don't reply right away,
I get all paranoid like ahhhh what did I say, come back :(
Even if I say something totally normal, or nice, 
and they don't reply, I get all like..

And then sometimes really werid over-thinking happens, like..
I have become really aware that I am human, if that makes any sense? 
Like, for example (and this sounds really stupid), 
I spent a couple of minutes today contemplating how I know how to use my limbs. hahah. 
Like I would just open and close my hand and say to myself "How do I do this?" and "This is so weird?"

Basically I have just felt really weird. I hate to admit it, but my thought processes have been downright bizarre.

 I also think I say, or maybe just type.. "Like," too much..


Sometimes I think about things that shouldn't even be over-thought about..
Like emotions..
How do you know that you're happy, 
or mad,
or scared,
or sad,
or love?
Why do we get these emotions?

What is happiness?
"Happiness depends upon ourselves."
I think I like that definition the most.
Happiness is whatever you make it out to be. There's a personal perspective on what happiness actually is.
Everyone knows the age old, "Money cannot buy happiness." Well, if you find happiness in superficial things or objects, then oh yes it can.
And some might say that finding happiness in material things is wrong, well who gives a hoot?
Not saying that I do, but if it makes that person happy, then let them find happiness in there.
I mean, what if a good friend made you happy? And I said that good friend was annoying or something.
Wouldn't you be upset by that?
So it's the same thing in this case, except that instead of a friend it's material goods.
Basically my point is don't force yourself into people's happiness. Let them find it themselves.
If they happen to find it in you, then woo that's awesome!
If you make them unhappy, stop bugging them. You might just make them mad...

"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness"
Anger is another emotion that strikes just about everyone.
Even today I was pretty angry, there are just those things that make us go boom.
Why do we get angry?
I don't have some fully back-boned research supported answer,
But I think we get angry cause we hate being directly challenged. Thinking back to most cases I was angry, I'm usually mad cause some standpoint, or belief, or perspective of mine was being challenged by another authority.
Or other times, it's because of ignorance. Like as selfish as this sounds, I get angry from time to time when something great I've done is quite blatantly gone unnoticed.
The biggest problem about anger, is that it leads down so many dangerous roads.
Anger brings you to hatred,
To revenge,
To grudges,
Anger can bring along pain.
Controlling this anger is actually really hard sometimes, but I think I've done a decent job of keeping chill, right?
On second thought... don't answer that, haaah.

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
In my opinion I think that's junk.
There's so many things out there that we have that we might be afraid of.
The dark
The list goes on and on. I think fear is never truly real though. I think fear is simply an emotion that appears in the absence of any other emotion for that object. Maybe that's where the term
"Fear of the unknown" came from. We fear things when we have unknown emotions for them?
I don't know, I'm just playing cat and mouse with this subject.

"Start hating the world early, cause it will only hate you back."
The person that came up with that quote must be quite pessimistic,
I mean, sure you're not gonna get along with everybody, but you'll get along with a lot of them.
To be honest, I feel bad when I get those ideas of hatred for other people.
I know I shouldn't feel such anger and despise them so much, but it just happens you know?
Most of them aren't even trying to get me to hate them, but I guess some things just get to me.
But I honestly don't think I legitimately hate anyone.
Could you imagine, a world without hate?
The smiles, the laughter, the good times,
The world without misery.

"Misery loves company."
The three just about are the same.
Sadness is what comes about from the extreme loss of happiness. And it's saddening to know how often such an extreme occurs.
There's so much in life that brings us down. It's a shame to know how many people are depressed these days.
It's even worse just to think about how many people are depressed and the people that are close to them have not a clue what's going on.
I'm not saying to go about and be a miracle worker or anything, but if you see someone sad or depressed or something,
Just simply ask them if anything is wrong. And if they proceed to tell you what it is that's bothering, just listen.
Sometimes that's all we need, we need someone to just listen.
If every person who read this, took the above steps into action,
I guarantee at least a few of you would make someone feel good, and happy.

Last but not least,
"All you need is love, love, love is all you need."
Of all the emotions we feel,
I will definitely argue and defend my standpoint that love is the most important emotion one can feel/experience.
Love is almost as dangerous as anger though.
With many pros come many cons.
Love can give you hope,or tear it down.
Love can can light up your world, or hurl you into the shadows.
Love can keep you sane, or drive you crazy.
Love can make you feel so alive, or it can just as easily kill you.
But despite it all,
I think it'd be safe to say that just about everyone would give anything to find love.

RARRRR, see what I mean about over-thinking!??!

I think I'm gonna stop now..

I'm starting to scare myself..




  1. dude. i do the same thing. over think over thinking. same with prayers. you're not alone!!
    oh and when you were talking about anger totally thought of star wars. just saying. lol
    i agree with love.
    love is the most important.
    but sometimes we as humans forget that love isn't just an emotion. it's God.
    so i feel love doesn't fail and tear us down. humans can.
    in what we call love...
    hm. yeah.
    maybe i should try blogging that instead.
    i don't know.
    i don't think i've fully thought it through. :P
    but i'm with you girl.


    Yeah, I know that God's love never fails, or tears us down.
    But, those who think they're in love with others,
    but aren't,
    that's when it fails, hurts, and can tear us down.

    But then there's the love that doesn't and never will! (:

    rawr (:

  3. Dude just saying totally with ya with like all that jazz mainly the over thinking and praying thing I always kinda stop and go oh you know what I'm trying to say grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hegemony just saying

  4. lol. this is why we all can never make decisions as a group! we're all over thinkers. makes sense now. :P