Saturday, March 31, 2012

so i got bored and decided to make my blog a tad different.
you like, or no?

so guys.
i went to their concert last night with some awesome people,
we really didn't know what to expect,
except what our albuquerquen friends had said about it.
it was like, the best concert i've ever been to.
and that's coming from an avid concert go-er.
and i totally needed that in my life right now too.
i literally can't even grasp how awesome it was.
if you don't know who Gungor is,
i HIGHLY recommend you look them up,
and then go to the concert.
i didn't get a chance to take pictures,
they had asked up to shut off our phones because they were recording a live cd,
which is AWESOME.
and really, taking pictures was like, the last thing on my mind during it.
i really don't have many words to describe it's brilliant-ness.
it  was completely alexythemia-inspiring.

by the way, did you know if you say any positive word in a British accent,
it makes it at leassst 73842x more positive? :b

so friends,
go check out Gungor.

love and all that. :3

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Time passes on, with no hope of changing its course of direction. 
The universe moves its gears and the world turns once again. 
It moves through civilizations, generations, traditions, and families. 
It’s a mysterious thing it is, one may find themselves wanting more of it, others find themselves wanting to pause it. 
Some wishing to rewind it and some wishing to end it. 
It's a part of everything thing just as much as everything is a part of it. 
It will pass you by in the blink of an eye if you don’t stop to realize it, then again many have tried and it still results in the same outcome, it slips through your hands like fresh sand from a beach. 
It will pass us by as it has passed many before us, but when it comes time for that last grain of sand to slip through your fingers hopefully, just hopefully you can look back on time and see what its done, how its changed the world, 
how it changed you. 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

i haven't put pictures up in a whilllle c:
I wish I could be standing on a mountain somewhere, or a nice area that overlooks cities upon cities. Where people are so tiny that they are just a mere blur of color and cars are moving dots. Buildings look like little squares and rectangles. I don’t want to be as high as a plane, I want to be able to see cities and then mountains and lots of trees and flowers. A sun shining bright keeping me nice and toasty but with a cool breeze that keeps me chill. I want to feel like I’m above the world, even if it’s only for a few spare minutes. I want to indulge in all the nature that city life hides. I want to feel free and liberated, able to do whatever I want without being judged a single second. I want to be able to scream to the top of my lungs and not have any care in the world. I want to lay down and stare up at the sky and just watch the clouds maze on by, forming new shapes and figures; letting my imagination soar.
I just want a perfect, beautiful, everlasting moment that I can fully grasp on; let that onset burst of happiness captivate me and swallow me whole. I just want that one sinful taste of pure bliss to call my own.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

bwaha. prologue + chapter one of this book. whatchoo think!?

Listen to me, human. I come to you with a reason. My race, my culture... my planet is in need of your planet once more. You will not resist, for you have no need to. Our races have work together before, and will no doubt do so again, but we must focus on the now. When you wake, do not tell anyone you are sure you do not trust what I am about to tell you. Listen, and do not resist: your species once knew us, once worshipped us. What you call the seven wonders of the ancient world were some of our gifts to you. You thought of us as gods, though then you didn't know as much as you do now. But we have been here longer than that. There is a reason you have evolved to the point you are now. You would not have developed to you current stage without our help. Why, you ask, did we get involved in your species, you planet? Simple: our planet was dying. You still see it as a dead planet. Yet there is so much more to the planet you call Mars. There is life and there is beauty. But that has been threatened. So we come to you, human, for your help. You helped us in a past life well, though you do not remember it. When you wake, act as though nothing has happened. We will see if you are truly worthy of knowing who you truly are....
----------Chapter 1----------

Ben woke up suddenly as a ruler struck his desk. He pulled his head off the desk and tried to make his red hair lay flat. He looked at his teacher, knowing what to expect. She gave a small "humph' and told him to go to the principal's office, as expected. So, he gathered his things and left the classroom and walked into the principal's office, again. The stern looking secretary looked at him and said into a walkie-talkie: "Sir, Mr. Moshi is here to see you."

"Send him in."

Ben walked into the Principal’s office, which had now become familiar, though he didn't think that he would ever like being alone with Principal Hurt. Principal Hurt towered over Ben at nearly seven feet. Muscular, he looked like he would gladly live up to his name. Principal Hurt was rubbing his forehead, stress on his middle-aged face.

"What am I going to do with you, Ben?" he asked. It was the same question he always asked, and Ben had been hearing it more and more recently. "Did you have a nice nap?"

The question caught Ben off guard, but he still was able to say: "Quite nice, Sir. Thanks for asking."

"Do you remember dreaming?"

"Yeah," Ben responded, though wondering where the Principal was going with this.

"This alien guy was talking to me. Saying that his planet was dying again and that he need the human race to help, or something like that."

He was about to say more when Principal Hurt's walkie-talkie started talking: "Sir, Mrs. Moshi is here."

"Thank you, send her in," he replied.

Mrs. Moshi rushed in, clearly angry. If you looked at Ben, then you looked at his mom, you would say that they looked nothing alike. It was because they didn't. Mrs. Moshi and her late husband had adopted Ben fourteen years before, when he was two. He had never known his birth parents and didn't care who they were. Mrs. Moshi sat down and both Ben and she looked at the principal.
James Hurt looked at the two people who sat in front of him. He could tell that their relationship was strained at best. He had to rub his forehead again, trying to take in the contrast of Ben and Mrs. Moshi: his light red hair against her raven colored; his aqua eyes against her hazel; his pale, freckled skin against her tanned.

"Mrs. Moshi, thank you for coming," Hurt said, looking concerned.

"That's quite alright, Mr. Principal," Mrs. Moshi said, batting her long eyelashes at him.

"Now, onto business… Ben has, despite what his teacher may have said, and has been doing quite well."

"Then why are you wasting my time?" Ben said, "I could be sleeping."

"That is exactly why you are here," Hurt said calmly. "You have shown a complete disrespect to every teacher you have, and the constantly complain about it to me. One of them even wants you suspended. One of the reasons why I haven’t is because you have been able to just scrape by. You’re an incredibly intelligent boy, and I just want to help you see your true potential."

"Whatever..." Ben said, looking indifferently at his fingers.

"The second reason," Principal Hurt said, "I must discuss with you privately. So Mrs. Moshi, I am going to have to ask you to wait in the seating room.

Principal Hurt waited until Mrs. Moshi left the room before he looked at Ben. "Now tell me something, Ben, does this, ah, alien, in your dream mention something about a past life?'
"Yeah, so?"

"That settles the matter then," Hurt said quickly. He walked over to his door and stuck his head out. "Ms. Jones, could you come in please."

Hurt came back in and following him was a woman who looked to be in her late twenties and was wearing a doctor’s coat.

The first thing she said when she walked in was: "Take off your shirt, Mr. Moshi."

"What?!" Ben exclaimed.

"Do it or I'll do it for you," Principal Hurt said.

Ben quickly did so without any complaints.

"Give me your height, weight, and the hand you write with in that order," Ms. Jones said.

"Ah, about five seven, I think a hundred and sixty-five and I'm left handed," Ben said.

"Turn around," Ms. Jones said as she wrote in a notebook.

After he did so, Ms. Jones placed a hand on the back of his left shoulder. She closed her eyes and gripped Ben's shoulder even harder. When she stopped, she looked at Principal Hurt with a smile. They both nodded at each other. Ms. Jones took out a small needle a stuck it the middle of where her hand had been. Ben immediately fell to the floor, out cold.

I told you someone would come, human, did I not? Your reawakening has begun. When you wake, do not panic, for it will do you no good. Now, relax your mind. Let me continue from earlier. Like I said, Mars is not a lifeless planet. Only the surface is. And at one time, there was an abundance of life on the surface. Though I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start at an earlier date. My race is an old one, far older than you can imagine. We have not always inhabited this solar system. We once lived on a planet on the other side of the galaxy and prospered. But then they came. They decided that we were below them, so they decided that our planet was to be destroyed. That didn't exactly happen. They only made is so life could not exist on the planet, much like the surface of Mars today. We put up a fight, but their attack was quick and unexpected. We had to flee as far as possible. So we came to Mars. At the time, it was made of beautiful grassland, slow moving rivers. It was quite a place. Because of this, we built vary sparsely on the surface. We built underground. When finished, we tried to study what we could of our enemies' technology. We were able to fortify our underground structures to that they could hold against their weaponry. At the same time, we were looking and studying your planet. It was the height of the Neanderthal's power, if you can say that. We knew that our enemies wouldn't strike at you planet, so we hatched a plan. With help, we could create a new race of human, which we would do in time. But, we could make it so that we could implant our memories into you if we needed to. We also decided to make a few of this new species closer to us genetically than the other, and that they would be the one who would store our culture, if needed. We would be able to later, when your technology advanced and we thought you would be able to deal with it. And we are glad we did that. Soon after we did that, our enemy found us. Many lives were lost. But this time, there was a positive outcome. Well, sort of. We were able to drive then off. But the planet's surface was destroyed as became what it is today. Most of the underground structures survived. But, too many lives were lost. We have only been able to keep up and maintain about fifteen percent of the structures. In all this time, we have not been able to expand into those structures. We simply don't have a large enough population. But there’s more. We think that our enemy will strike again. So, we are doing the only thing we can. We are calling out to your race, to humans, to unlock your hidden past. You are one of those genetically different humans. So we are calling out to you, and others like you, for help. You will soon know what all of this means, but for now, do not wake. You will need all of you strength for what is to come. You will need it.

     Wake, human, for you will soon be needed.  Let us hope that you are up to it.  Wake.

Monday, March 26, 2012

so yeah, guys,
i'm writing a book :b
i don't exactly have what it's about down quite right yet,
i'll keep you posted c:

Friday, March 16, 2012

we're going to prove them wrong.

The world is too heavy,
too big for my shoulders,
come take the weight off me, now.

Thousands of answers,
for one simple question,
come take the weight off me, now.

I'm like a kid who just won't let it go,
Twisting and turning the colours in rows,
I'm so intensified that's what it is.
This is my Rubik's Cube
And all i can't figure it out.

We're lost in the playground,
Late night nostalgia,
open the sky for me, now.

Friends round the fire,
Outside in December
Open the sky for me now.

I'm like a kid who just won't let it go,
Twisting and turning the colours in rows,
I'm so intensified thats what it is.
This is my Rubik's Cube
And all i can't figure it out.

Credits roll over,
the edge of the horizons,
but I haven't discovered yet.

I'm like a kid who just won't let it go,
Twisting and turning the colours in rows,
I'm so intensified thats what it is.
This is my Rubik's Cube
And all I can't figure it out. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

here's just.. 
some things i'm feeling at the mo.

1) I've been very insecure, and I don't know why. I'm usually the opposite.
2) I feel like I’ll never achieve at anything in life.
3)  Caring more about others then I do myself is very true, sometimes I'm not the biggest fan of myself, but I would never let anything happen to my friends and family.
4) It feels like my parents aren’t proud of me.
5) I’m afraid I won’t be able to function living on my own. All of this college business is freaking me out.
6) I’m not depressed, I just don’t really know how I feel.
7) I miss the cute, cheesy component. I don't know when that stopped, or why that stopped, but I certainly never wanted that to stop. Sometimes I feel like there's something you care about a tad more. Or maybe not. No, more than likely not. I'm just.. being me. I hope.
8) I think I've been changing. I don't really know if it's for the better, or the worse though.
9) I over think everything.
10) I don't actually hate softball anymore. I was just going through a rough time at the beginning. Communication isn't the easiest thing for me to do all the time.
11) Thinking about you makes me smile.
12) I really am trying. Hard. In pretty much everything that I do. 
13) Why do I always miss one little strip of hair when I shave? Hahahah... does this ever happen to anyone else? Cause it seriously happens every time for me.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

happy things:
good music
a nice read
your smile
rainy days
old photos
disney movies

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

you all know how i got that book!?
i started.

and i also made a blog, blogging it.
just like my pals joanie and jedi :b

go ahead and take a look c:

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I'm squee and I know it

i'm squeee and i know it

^see what i did there. :b

i got this book yesterday c:
maybe it'll help remove some of this stress.
i hate stress.
do you ever feel like
is stressful?
seriously, everything.
physics is probably number one on the list though.

i think my topic for this book will be cats :b
i don't know why
i don't even have a cat.
but i like cats.


i think all the stress in the world
fall off a cliff
and die,
and never come back.

but then again,
maybe some stress is good..
what if it's one of those things that just balances out the world.

it could be.
we will never know

i'm hungry,
and it's almost lunch,
so therefore,
i shall go,
and eat.

i bid you all goodbye.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Dear God,
please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots, and
might nots that find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the am nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


and softball.

my teacher isn't even in the class room right now.

its just two others and i.

i'm still sore, grr.